ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
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Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
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I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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