That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize