you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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