It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
