I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Randomize
