I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
