i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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