I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize