new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
