apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
