if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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