I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
