She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
