My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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