girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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