Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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