If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
