remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
