I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
