Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
