is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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