We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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