So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
