Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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