I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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