You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
