yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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