how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
they need to just BURY HIM!
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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