On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
