THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
