what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Shame - the story of my life.
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