let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
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