i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I'm just crazy horny about you
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
