he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
