"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
