can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
