Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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