yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
