what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
