I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
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