did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
