kristin has been a bad kristin
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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