Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
