Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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