i wish my penis had a tongue
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
