singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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