no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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