bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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