Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Randomize
