I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
