I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
