Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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