No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
This is the prime rib incident all over again
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She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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