The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize