Midget sex pt 2 tonight
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
