i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
