Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
