You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
